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Why Do We Lose Our Style & How Do We Get It Back?

Style, and fashion, are about so much more than clothes - what we choose to wear is how we declare who we are to the world and when who we are on the inside is not connecting with how we are presenting ourselves on the outside, the impact on our psyche can be quite profound.


So where does this disconnect between who we are versus how we show up as, come from? So. Many. Places. A huge part of what I do as a stylist, and what I most passionate about, is repairing that bridge and going a little deeper with my clients to work out what is standing in the way of my clients true confidence in self expression.




Here are some interesting things I have learned along the way...


The people we surround ourselves with matter

It is almost impossible to express our authentic self without the positive force of acceptance surrounding us. Run an inventory of the people in your life - who makes you feel that is 100% ok for you to be you, and who makes you feel insecure? Pay attention. We cannot remove all of the people from our lives who conjure up self doubt but we can set boundaries in place to ensure their judgment, whether real or imagined, does not impact upon us.


We cannot grow by looking backwards

This seem blatantly obvious but time and time again I hear "I used to wear...." or "I once loved...." when I ask a client what their taste and style is - they have no idea because they are living in the past. Fashion is always moving, it is not a stagnant thing, and neither is style. The only way to harness a sense of style within is to look forward and ask "who do I want to be today and who do I want to be tomorrow"? Living in the past does not a stylish sista make.


Education is key

We ask for help with so many things in life (or we should!), from utilising hairdressers to cut our hair, mechanics to fix our cars, doctors to help us when we are unwell, etc etc, yet so few people enlist help with their fashion choices. But why? Style absolutely is a very personal thing and no one can come and wave a magic wand to present us with our perfect style but what so many miss is the education behind hiring a stylist. A good stylist will not just tell you what to buy, unless of course that is all you want from their services, but they will show you WHY certain things work, they will give you the knowledge and tools to make good choices with your wardrobe and how to dress.


Don't take it all too seriously

We are all afraid to mess up, get it wrong or step out of line in life, it is built into our psyche but fashion is one hell of a creative space and it is wildly limiting to play it safe when there is so much life there waiting to be played with. Switch up your notion of dressing, bring in the fun, remember when you get dressed that putting together your outfit is meant to be joyful and creative - they are just clothes after all! I have a style challenge I regularly use with my clients designed to inspire creativity and help break down the walls of conformity and safety we so often find ourselves hiding behind, a practical and easy to follow style challenge can be just the thing you need to move forward with your style (you can utilise your family for this too, ask them to set you a crazy outfit challenge or dress you for a day...and if you do, please share pics)




I LOVE to chat, about fashion (and also about anything and everything) but more importantly I love to listen and if you feel any of the above resonates and you want to rediscover your style, let's get the conversation going and figure out what you need.


Reach out anytime!


x Kimberley

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