What a blessing to be done with the first trimester! From about week 14 I slowly started to feel like myself again after being horribly sick for weeks on end. Month 4 has been a beautiful time, bar a week suffering the worst tummy bug imaginable, I truly never knew how awful a tummy bug mixed with pregnancy could be. I lost 3 kilos and was severely dehydrated which was quite scary but thankfully after 7 days I started to feel better and didn't need to go to hospital. That week aside, I have been feeling on top of the world! I am crazy excited to find out the gender tomorrow, I've started on the nursery and I am feeling lots of movement from bubs which truly is the most magical feeling in the world.
I don't really have too many things happening that were not present in the first 3 months - sore boobs, bloating, some fatigue and needing to pee 100 times a day but otherwise I feel pretty much like my non pregnant self at the moment. I definitely find myself feeling much heavier at night and my bump feels twice as big by the end of the day which is all down to fluid retention. I am savagely hungry at the moment too which is unusual for me. An hour after dinner, without fail, I need a second meal which is such a foreign feeling to me but I am going with it and quashing the fat shaming bitch voice in my head. Bubs is hungry and who am I to argue!
I am getting bigger in the belly every day and this is triggering some back pain and sciatica which is really frustrating. I am quite scared of how bad this may get because I am so committed to staying active throughout my pregnancy and don't want anything to cause me to stop completely. I've been doing Youtube Yoga videos everyday to help keep my hips and back flexible which I am slowly becoming hooked on, I can't recommend doing this enough! There are so many You tube videos specifically for mums-to-be and they talk a lot about connecting with your baby, offer guidance for safe stretches and calming meditations. Some of my favourites are Madeline Shaw, Yoga With Adrianne, Pregnancy Yoga Tonic
I am also still doing regularly gym and PT sessions with Gabrielle Peterwood at Project Fitness who I highly recommend if you are after a trainer. Gab creates workouts which I am comfortable with, are pregnancy appropriate and challenge me without pushing me too far plus she is such a positive, kind and beautiful person to be around I find my weekly workouts with her lots of fun and something I look forward to all week.
As well as Yoga and PT I have been regularly walking and doing weights at the gym 3-4 times a week but I have lost lots of strength and stamina so I am being gentle with my body and listening to it when it needs to rest. I haven't been tracking my weight, we don't have scales in my house so I am just going off how my body feels and so far I feel good. With my first pregnancy I gained 11kilos in total and lost it all in the first 3 weeks because it was mainly water and I was so busy learning how to calm a newborn I forgot to eat. Ops. I remember I fainted one morning walking down to crying bubs and my head went straight into the wall leaving a big dent. It was really scary. I wasn't taking care of myself. I will not be repeating that this time!
I suspect with this pregnant my weight gain will be a bit more but I am not focusing too much on that, health and happiness are coming first, numbers on scales don't really matter. By the way, that above sentence is definitely easier to say than live by, as a woman experiencing a rapidly changing body it can be really confronting. Accepting and allowing things to get bigger, wobblier and curvier is a huge emotional challenge. I am not going to pretend I am all love and rainbows about it, I have had moments where I look in the mirror and panic - my butt is bigger, I have no waist anymore and seeing my hard earned toned muscles turn soft is a big adjustment - this loss of control is the hardest part. I want all mama's-to-be to know that every single one of us sometimes feels like a whale during pregnancy. Weight gain during pregnancy is inevitable and the more we are honest about it and admit that is can be challenging, and the more we remind ourselves how beautiful the female form it, the easier those panic in the mirror moments become.
Cereal and Candy Canes. Plus I am back into Zambrero's - my go-to morning sickness takeaway choice is hot on my radar again. I am pretty sure all of the local Zambrero's outlets know my face by now and wonder why I don't have a life and why they see me 5 out of 7 days. Confession time, I have considered driving further to other outlets to avoid the embarrassment and mix it up a little. Ahhh, what is my life right now?
I feel calm, peaceful, excited, a little impatient and abundantly grateful. I have been nesting like I am about to go into labour, cleaning the house, sorting drawers, shopping for homewares, gradening, cooking. I think I have lost my mind a little but I can't stop. So nest I shall. Pregnancy drawers us away from chaos and towards calm, at least for me that is my experience. Anything gentle, beautiful, soft, authentic, tactile, creative are calling to me. It's impossible not be drawn towards the simple things when carrying a child, the distraction of noise, the rat race, crowds, alcohol and socialising all become distant when sudenly your whole world exists within you. Being so present means a clarity and awareness to all that is good and pure makes for a very special kind of existence and I am reveling in it.
Stay tuned to my Insta as I announce the babies gender this week. I realise it affects no one at all but me and my family so it probably isn't very interesting for anyone but us but for those that are interested and want to guess, I'd love to hear what you think I am having. I've been getting way more people leaning towards the baby being a girl...we shall see! x