I wrote a letter to someone the other day, not one I intended to ever send but it was a message intended for someone none the less: my version of therapy- getting the words out, feeling the emotion, sifting through my pain to reduce it's power. Upon writing this letter to a certain someone I discovered it was in fact a letter a mass of people - a protest against the culture of putting others down. I posted this innocently on my Instagram story, while my partner and son were sitting beside me with no idea. The words dripped out of my mind as precisely and easily as water from a leaking tap, it was as though they were always there, burning inside me. I let the words flow, hit post and then thought little of it.
Fast forward a couple of hours and I was completely stunned by how many people reached out to me, how many messages I received thanking me for sharing the words. I realised then just how shameful and sad it is that anyone has to relate to what I wrote, that most of us feel judged every single day, that we are misunderstood, living under a microscope of disapproval.
Below is what I wrote. After reading it again, I realised I could go on more, I have endless things to say about this. So I will.
In the same of feminism, in the name of love and acceptance, these words are for the girls who feel judged for being bold. These words are for the girls who are a little different, for the girls with the confidence to chase their dreams, for the girls who don't fit into groups, for the girls more at home running amok than attending fancy dinners, for the girls who are a little inappropriate, for the girls who have fought tooth and nail for what they have, for the girls who use their voice, for the girls who don't care for "etiquette" but rather kindness, for the girls who don't want the white picket fence, or maybe do, for the girls who enjoy dressing up, or down, or anything in between. These words are for the girls who see the bigger picture and know these trivial differences between us mean nothing when it comes to character, kindness and the measure of ones worth.
These words are for the girls being themselves and getting slammed for it....
I hope you know how profoundly your judgement affects me, though I hate to admit it
I hope you realise that feminism means supporting victims who speak out, it means standing up for women who find the courage to share their story, it means respect for other women, as simple as that
I hope you know that I battled the hell of 365 days petrified myself or my child would be taken in a rage and then another 365 and then another and another
I hope you know I don't think adversity is comparable, no ones pain is worse than anyone elses, it cannot be measured - we all have hurt and we all need to know that, honor that, understand that
I hope you know belittling someone for living life publicly, after they have been forced to live in the shadows, is particularly cruel
I hope you understand that I practice what I preach, I am kind, I have no ill intentions and your treatment of me has thrown me off my axis, in ways you might never understand
I hope you don't live a half life, a life setting the bar so high for those around you that they are bound to fall, a life being threatened by other peoples light or growth, a life determined to see others failings rather than wins
I hope you can find kindness, pure and simple, little and sweet, that magic that exists in all of us - I really hope you find that