It will never be the right time. Waiting until your 'ready' to begin anything is a mistake, it is a mind trick that will keep your dreams forever in the future. I spent years trying to be 'ready' to do what I wanted in life, wanting the perfect website, a strong home base, the right circle, my skills honed to perfection and a fail proof plan before I seriously and actively began pursuing my dreams. The reason I waited was because I didn't have the guts to be, well, kinda crap at first. I waited because I wanted to earn my 'business woman' title before using it. I waited because I wanted to prove myself first, I wanted to succeed quietly before announcing my plans, visions and ideas for fear of judgement and not being taken seriously.
I figured, work behind the scenes, grow, develop, succeed and then 'bang!' officially launch yourself or business loudly and proudly. Ha! I now see how back to front I had it, how I immediately killed my chances with just my mentality. This mistake in process and thinking wasted years of my time. Success is a long journey, it is mistake after mistake and triumph in trying again and again.
What I didn't know back then was...
You will never be ready
You won't succeed if fear of judgment concerns you in any way, shape or form
Time is precious and your going to wonder why you didn't back yourself sooner
Nothing will ever be perfect, you will never arrive at this made up place called 'ready', the only place you will ever exist in is the now and the only state you will reach is 'improved, closer, stronger'...
In hindsight I could have been living my dreams way back a decade ago but I continued to view my passion as my 'thing on the side' working full time as my safety net. I studied Fashion Business, I worked on styling jobs, I started a blog back when it was quite a revolutionary concept but I never put my all into any of it. I was a 'sometime' stylist, writer, creator, business owner, blogger. I was there but I was testing the waters, afraid to submerge completely. I had everything I needed, the skills, the training, the experience, the knowledge but I was missing the self belief.
It took some serious life fuck ups to develop the courage and balls to just jump right in. My independence has been my driving force throughout my life, I have pursued absolute freedom and chased adventure since I learned how to walk, constantly going, always pushing. A few years ago my independence was stolen from me. While I believe that is a different story for a different day, I can say that it took a scary, life changing event for me to set myself free. Since that pivotal moment almost three years ago, gaining back my freedom and independence has meant everything to me. The experience I went through put a fire in my belly to find a way to give a voice to those who have been silenced, to prove to myself and my son that I could do it alone, to show I wouldn't be broken, to not feel shame, to turn pain into power. I decided I wouldn't be a statistic, I would be courageous, I would be me, I would own my passions and take a risk in pursuing what sets my soul on fire.
About a year ago I officially jumped right in. I left my part time job, I re-branded myself and I threw my energy into refining my blog, building a clientele, networking and sharing my skills. I organised Style Workshops, I interviewed local business owners, I approached women who inspired me. I took big risks. I wasn't ready...not even close. But I did it anyway. The only way around this hurdle was over it, I just kept climbing. The feelings of judgement were real, some welcomed me, some seemed wary. I kept climbing, I wrote some blog posts I regretted, I wrote others I was immensely proud of. I received positive feedback from some and zero response from others - good friends seemed far at times, while others pumped me up the way I believe I have always done for them. I kept climbing, I took huge financial risks running big events entirely on my own, praying for ticket sales and organising every single detail on my own. I made some mistakes and I made some wins. I have always believed this to be the nature of business, it is hard, scary and exciting...all of the things that bring out the best in me.
Am I there yet..? Not even close. But I have my business, my blog, I have met some incredible people, worked with amazing clients and found deep fulfillment in supporting other women while getting the same support in return. I have attended some wonderfully inspiring events, I have been in a position to coach and help others with their dreams and been given platforms to express my writing and thoughts which I am so thankful for. My big, crazy, out of this world dreams are still in front of me and that is how it should be. I will never stop working, growing and chasing.
What I have learned is, ready or not, you have to just start. The rest will come together as you go, but that first step has to be made in the dark. Grab your dreams, collect your goals and step out even if you can't see the light, the path will illuminate for you as you go. I have never seen fear as failure but as a roadblock. One day I woke up and decided I wanted to drive right through that fucker, I wanted to knock the roadblock down so badly that I closed my eyes, put my foot down and, feeling shit scared, crashed right through the middle and never stopped driving. Go knock that wall down. That famous quote 'fortune favours the brave' is absolutely true, the only way to be who you want to be and achieve what you have always dreamed is to be blindly, ridicukpusly courageous. Whatever it is, go get it x